The Mothers Day Post You May Not Like

mother swan mothers dayWell, here we are, another holiday to celebrate. Mother’s Day is upon us and it falls on a Sunday… oh yes, it always falls on a Sunday. Maybe that is so mothers everywhere can have a day of rest.

Nope, that’s not it.

I have four children, but Mothers Day has never been much different from any other day for me. I used to wish I had a caring husband who would work with the children to make my day special. I wished that for a few years, and then realized wishes don’t come true. Ya think?

I got gifts, and sometimes I got things I actually liked, needed or wanted. Once they were unwrapped, I made dinner. The day went on like any other.

But gifts were never what I really wanted for Mother’s Day. Like many mothers, I simply wanted a day off – a day for me. A day without meals to plan and cook. A day without dealing with the needs of the children. Without housework, walking the dog and feeding the cats. I used to dream of time for me, where I could sit and read a book, or do some drawing. That was the gift I craved. I would have accepted that gift any day of the year.

As I write this, imagining what Mothers everywhere are doing on their special day, the diversity of how they will celebrate is huge.

I can’t help but think of my own mother as well. She died of Alzheimers in 2008 so there will be no celebrating with her. She loved the attention, and believed the day was hers, no matter that her daughters were mothers too.

One year, my husband and I were invited out on a boat with some friends for a Mothers Day celebration. I asked my own mother to babysit and she never let me forget how I ruined her day by asking that.

I’ve been raising children for 40 years and I’m tired. I never got the gift of a caring husband who catered to my needs for a special day. But he’s out of my life, and that is an everyday gift I enjoy. My children are finally all grown, and they will wish me a happy day. That is enough.

Today I will stay off of Facebook and avoid reading the “I’m so blessed” posts where women will go on to brag about their fabulous husband and kids. Pictures will be shared where whole families celebrate all the moms with dinner out together. Oh I know it’s coming. Holidays – any holiday – is the time to show the world what a fantastic life you lead. I wonder if kids and husbands feel pressured to compete with other FaceBook posters?

Imagination is a wonderful thing. It’s how I come up with creations like the swan above.  I have some of those attributes, but not all.  My own mother had even fewer.

Mothers are not perfection, but if we try to be what our children need most, we succeed in giving the world the gift of more good people in it.  Sacrifice is a long-term commitment to carry on creating something we started.  From squealing baby to grown person, the trip is long and exhausting, and for some mothers, it’s a very lonely one.  In the end, I can say I did my mothering to the best of my ability.

Today, I am at peace.

Mother’s Day Blues

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Or should I say, blue for Mother’s Day. It’s sunny and bright and beautiful for Mother’s Day here in New Hampshire, and I don’t have the blues, just pictures of blue flowers. There are no hydrangea flowers in the yard yet, so I’ve gone into my massive archive (haha) and pulled out a favorite photo to share.

I will be heading outdoors soon and hopefully the black flies will leave me alone. I have a mound of dirt to move around in my trusty wheelbarrow. There are seeds to plant and grow in my little greenhouse and plenty of other things awaiting my attention.
But first I have to pick up my son. Then the day will be mine.

I don’t have a Mother to celebrate so I get to celebrate my own motherhood. I’ve been a mom for nearly 37 years and I like to think that I have done a good job.
I hope that my children have learned some good things from me. Like perseverance, independence, thankfulness, and the importance of having a good work ethic. I think all my children have turned out well, and of course they are still evolving, but in general they have good hearts and are very decent people.

So Happy Mother’s day to all the moms who may come across this post today. The blue flower is for you as my wish that you will stay strong in this journey of motherhood that is really never-ending. And for the mom’s who do it all alone, you are not alone in your journey. There are many of us out there who also have to make our best attempt to “do it all”. It’s impossible, so pass on the things that can wait and take care of the things that won’t. Children grow up very fast and our job is to see that they grow up well. There are great rewards for that.

Blue Hydrangeas (Card) For Mom This Mother’s Day

Photo card with hydrangeas
Blue hydrangeas on a card for Mom.

I was shopping at the local farm stand, which had just opened the week before, and asked about hydrangeas. Yes, we get them in right before Mother’s Day, I was told. And yes, they were the hardy, plant outdoors, kind.

I imagine they will be costly. Hydrangeas usually are expensive and hard to find too. In fact they are only around for sale for a short time it seems, so I must grab them while they last.

I don’t want them for giving as a gift. I no longer have a mom, or mother-in-law. I will be giving them to myself to plant in my barren yard.

With the economy being what it is, it’s likely that many folks won’t be able to give Mom much this year.   Kids of all ages will be looking for something special, and affordable for mom.

So how about a pretty card that contains her favorite flower? You may even upload a photo to the front and customize the text by adding a special sentiment inside.

Mom will love it – maybe even more than a gift of the real hydrangeas.